Hi folks. I know that there are tons of articles and resources floating around about this strange and challenging moment that we find ourselves in. And I am not sure that I have anything new to add, but I have noticed that I am saying the same thing to lots of my clients these days. So I thought that I would take a few minutes to put those thoughts in writing, with the hope that someone finds them helpful.
Be Kind: We are all doing this pandemic/social distancing/remote working/remote learning/essential worker dance for the very first time. No one knows how to do this. We are all making it up together. So, try to remember to pause and be kind. Kind to yourself. Kind to your friends and family. Kind to the folks who are keeping us all running.
Breathe: I know that I need this reminder regularly. We are facing so many stressors. Trying to work or teach from home (or both!). Trying to get flour and toilet paper. Deciding whether or not to wear masks. Being in professions where there aren’t enough masks. Worrying about our health and safety. Worrying about the health and safety of parents, friends, or family. Worrying about jobs that have been lost. Carrying around all of that stress puts our bodies under extra strain. So take a breath, or three, or five. Drop some of that stress, feel your shoulders relax. Even a minute or two of breathing will fortify you for the day.
Check your expectations: I know that, when I heard that my commute was mostly canceled, visions of productivity danced in my head. Cleaned out closets, fresh bread, organized spaces. Then reality hit. And our reality is two adults working full-time, one out of the house, and two kids trying to learn from a distance during a global crisis. I’m not spending fifteen hours a week in the car—but I am spending at least that much time on school and meal planning that only requires one grocery trip per week. I spent the first several weeks of this experience just feeling overwhelmed and like a failure. In the last few weeks, I have been trying to follow my advice and lowering my expectations. I recognize that I am under stress, and so is everyone else at my home. We are all doing the best we can. Lowering the expectations has let me be kinder to myself and those I am sharing this roller coaster with.
Find your thing to control: I can’t take credit for this specific advice, as I read it on another psychologist’s list. However, it resonates with what I share with my clients regularly. This moment in time is slamming us all with a mountain of issues that are not under our direct control. It is easy to feel overwhelmed by all of the global concerns. Feeling out of control is not a healthy place for our brains to be. We like to have things to control. That makes it critical to find something that you can control, and permit yourself to control the heck out of that. Maybe your thing is cleaning your kitchen or eating healthy food. Maybe your thing is finding a way to exercise. Maybe your thing is building the perfect playlist. Whatever your thing is, give yourself permission to dive right in and control that thing.
Create and connect: This is tied pretty closely to my last point. Whether your connection is phone calls, text messages, shared Tik-Tok videos, Netflix parties, cards in the mail, or drive-by birthday parades, we truly need to be connected at this moment. And we also need to bring something into the world. Your creation might be food, or knitting, or drawing, or journaling, or leatherwork. The possibilities are endless. Just make something.
Part of my creation is a commitment to reactivating my blog. I hope that you find resources that help you feel connected and bring you a bit of peace. Please know that you are always welcome to reach out for more direct support if you believe that would be helpful.